Ping File 148: The Indian Vikings
by Jet556
Summary: AU set in 1973. A sighting of Viking-like figures and the discovery of what is best called an "Indian Sleipnir" on a reserve in Canada leads Lee, Tina and the rest on a strange adventure.
1. Indian Sleipnir

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 **Indian Sleipnir**

An image of a figure riding an eight-legged horse was something commonly found in Scandinavia. The only problem was this had been found in a territory that had once upon a time belonged to Algonquin people before a battle with marauding Huron had wiped them out. The art was even in the Algonquin style.

In a tent sitting before it not far from where it had been found, Cam Martinez and Basil Hagen both stared at the image. They were both tugging an ear as they tried to figure something out that was bothering them.

"Basil, you subscribe to the belief that the Norse who settled here in North America ended up marrying with the native population aren't you?" asked Cam.

"I do." Replied Basil.

"And you believe that ultimately the native culture swallowed up the Norse, don't you?"

"I do."

"What do you say about this?" asked Cam. "It has been carbon dated to be about two hundred years old!"

"I don't know." Replied Basil. "All I know is that Lee and Tina are out there looking into this since last week there was a sighting of some specifically Viking-like types wandering about this reserve."

"Basil, this is the largest reserve in Canada and according to the rangers it jealously guards its secrets." Stated Cam. "Suppose this isn't some sort of elaborate hoax. Suppose that there is some fusion of Viking Age Norse and First Nation culture out there! Suppose they are hostile! Basil, some first nation cultures once practiced cannibalism and the pagan Norse practiced human sacrifice."

"You think I don't know that?" asked Basil. "That is hardly the most friendly of combinations. I'm just trying to go to my happy place so I can think clearly with this atmosphere of danger building up here."

"Okay, okay, I'll do that too." Said Cam. "That is a good idea. We need to stay calm, go to our happy places and once there we need to contact Lee and Tina."

"Why did Holger have to be assigned to the New Jersey Pine Barrens?" asked Basil.


	2. The Subject of Vikings

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 **The Subject of Vikings**

Out in the field, looking at the mountainous foothills that the so-called Vikings had been seen at, Lee Ping and Tina Kwee conversed with one another. They were really just talking about Vikings.

"So what do you know about Vikings?" asked Tina.

"Just that they were wild-haired dirty savages who wore horned helmets and drank from skulls." Replied Lee.

Somewhere, a historian was face-palming. Vikings, or Norsemen as they were properly called as "Viking" meant "To Go Raiding", were not wild-haired as they would often have their hair braided or in a ponytail. As for being dirty they actually bathed every Saturday and there was excellent documented evidence for the cleanliness of the Norsemen in the form of a letter by a Saxon bishop complaining that the pagan Norse settlers were luring away Christian women by washing and combing their hair. As for being savages they were as savage to the rest of Europe as the Mongols were to the Chinese, which is not at all. They were very civilized with their own laws that would as strange to a foreigner as a foreigner's would be to them.

When it came to the subject of horned helmets only two or three horned helmets had ever been found and they were ritual helmets strictly. If the protrusions even where horns was a matter of debate as they could have been stylized snakes or ravens. As for winged helmets, those were more suited for the Celts or the people of classical antiquity but when it came to horns, horned helmets had been out of fashion since the end of the Bronze Age and would not come back into fashion until the great helm with its decorations was invented in 1220, one hundred and fifty four years after the Viking Age.

As for drinking from skulls, they simply did not. They drank out of drinking horns or "branches of skulls" as they were called in the poem Krakumal and it was from that the misconception arose.

"I don't really know anything about Vikings!" Admitted Tina. "I guess there is what I learned from that Kirk Douglas movie 'The Vikings.' What I learned is that in the eighth and ninth century they were dedicated to a pagan god of war called Odin and that their greatest wish was to die with a sword in hand so they might enter Valhalla where a hero's welcome awaited them from Odin himself."


	3. Vikings in Fiction

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 **Vikings in Fiction**

Cam and Basil both sat in the tent looking at the Indian Sleipnir. It was boring being stuck at home base but it was what they had been assigned on this group mission.

"You remember that Viking movie with Kirk Douglas?" asked Cam.

"Yeah, what about it?" asked Basil.

"Do you ever wonder why Ragnar was thrown into a wolf pit instead of a snake pit like he was in real life?" asked Cam.

"No." replied Basil. "I spend more time wondering why Kirk Douglas was playing Ragnar's son when he was a year older than Ernest Borgnine."

"It was his production company." Stated Cam. "He can play whoever he wants."

"Still makes no sense." Said Basil. "He could have played the hero but he plays the villain instead. Did you ever read the book?"

"No, how is it?" asked Cam.

"Good but you wouldn't believe who Eric was in the book."

"Who?"

"Ogier the Dane." Said Basil. "I don't know why his name was changed."

"Maybe it was returned to Ogier in France."

"And of course Holger in Denmark." Basil scratched his cheek. "What time is it?"

"About eight fifty." Stated Cam looking at his watch.

"Oh." Basil and Cam resumed looking at the Indian Sleipnir only for their eyes to widen as they realized something. Lee and Tina should have been back by now!

"Basil, get the guns." Instructed Cam.

"On it." Basil was already at the chest that the guns were in. "Get the flashlights!"

"Way ahead of you!"


	4. Basil and Cam to the Rescue

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 **Cam and Basil to the Rescue**

One had smallish legs, the other was half-blind. These were the heroes of this story. Quite honestly, they were not the most inspiring. One was trying to write a memoir and the other had written a memoir that made him seem like some sort of god when he was far from it… Actually, Cam was going to do essentially the same thing when one considered he tried the line "I can bench-press a moose!" on a girl.

All things considered, they probably weren't the best choices for field missions. Cam had his smallish legs as was previously established and there was the fact that he had once been hypnotized into thinking he was a monkey… For a few years… All things considered he was very flexible because of that. Basil wasn't any better besides the aforementioned blind eye he also had some mental issues that was best being left at that.

Simply put these two probably weren't the best choices to be taken out of Toronto. They were better choices than Holger however who was currently lost in the New Jersey Pine Barrens and being stalked by the Jersey Devil.

They had gone in the direction that Lee and Tina had gone in. They had a flashlight and a gun in each hand. What they found was a gun on the ground and one of Tina's shoes.

"Well…" We've got a shoe and a gun." Said Basil. "And footprints that are in such a way as to denote a struggle. It is that simple."

"Yes and that means we have to follow them." Added Cam.

"What about the gun?"

"You've got a flashlight, I've got a flashlight, you've got a gun, I've got a gun we've only got two hands."

"Do we take the shoe?" asked Basil.

"Of course we take the shoe!" exclaimed Cam. "Lee and Tina have been carried off and Tina is missing one of her shoes! What? Do you think we're just gonna leave her to have one foot exposed to the cold hard ground?"

"Good point."

They don't think to bring the gun to give to Lee but they agree to bring Tina her shoe. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.


	5. The Village

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 **The Village**

Cam and Basil followed the tracks and they lead him to a secluded village. It seemed like a combination of First Nations and Norse. Where Lee and Tina were being held was anyone's guess but they had to be in there.

"Okay, so if they are in there then they are in there." Said Cam. "What's the plan exactly?"

"I thought the plan was go in and save Lee and Tina." Commented Basil.

"Beyond that." Said Cam.

"We get them out." Stated Basil.

"It sounds so simple." Commented Cam.

"That's because it is simple." Basil looked down into the village, trying to see what else there was to it. He could see a totem pole but rather than animals or people he saw the faces being that as creatures from Norse mythology such as the Nidhogg. "Do you suppose their axes are a combination of the tomahawk and the Dane axe?"

"Lets hope not." Replied Cam. "A throwing axe of that size, it would be pretty hard to miss… However, a disguise might help."

"There is no possible way you could pass as one of them." Observed Basil. "If these people are truly a combination of First Nations and Norsemen then that means their skin might be darker than their Norse ancestors but lighter than their First Nations ancestors."

"What about you with your Greek and Italian heritage?" asked Cam.

"From what I'm seeing by the torch light in the village I am too light." Replied Basil. "Me too light and you too dark. This is quite the pickle we're in. Disguises are out."

"Then we'll just have to sneak in."


	6. Lee and Tina

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 **Lee and Tina**

Cam and Basil both crept into the village, avoiding paths they thought would be commonly trodden. As the village had a wall around it, which came to an end at some mountainous terrain, they were forced to sneak in via coming down through the mountainous area.

Yet despite searching the village they found neither Lee nor Tina. Going back to the mountainous area Cam and Basil discussed where to search next.

"We checked the village and it seems like everyone is at the hall." Said Basil. "To call it a hall would only be half correct. It looked like a combination of a Norse hall and an Indian longhouse."

"Suppose Lee and Tina are kept in one of the caves here." Cam gestured to one of the caves in the mountainous area behind them at the back of the village.

"This isn't a James Fenimore Cooper novel." Commented Basil. "We aren't going to find them like how Duncan found Alice."

"What other choice do we have?" asked Cam.

And sure enough a cave was where they found Lee and Tina. They were guarded of course but the ones who did guard them were soon taken care of. Upon being rescued Tina however did harm both Cam and Basil, the former getting hit in the face the latter in the stomach.

"What was that for?" asked Cam.

"You idiots! You killed them!" exclaimed Tina.

"Why are you so upset that your kidnappers are dead?" asked Basil.

"Their language is a mixture of Old Norse and Algonquin! I asked them about their people and they told me that their people have been both diminished and dispersed by pestilence, warfare and famine."

"Warfare?" asked Cam. "Who have they been fighting?"

"An equally isolated Iroquois tribe." Stated Tina.

"Why are the Iroquois are always the villains?" asked Basil.

"They are the only ones here besides the Indian Vikings, Basil!" exclaimed Lee. "This isn't a Leatherstocking tale and besides the Iroquois only appear in three of those five books and were only villains because they were enemies of the Delaware and the Mohicans! The only other of those books that had Indian antagonists had it be the Tetons because they were the enemies of the Pawnees." Lee had a point. The Iroquois were the only other people there and the only reason they had been antagonists in the Leatherstocking tales was because they had been enemies of the Delaware and the Mohicans.


	7. Right or Wrong

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 **Right or Wrong**

"Okay, you guys are free. Lets go." Said Basil.

"We are going nowhere until we've helped this tribe!" exclaimed Tina.

"Help them?" asked Basil. "Help them how? They are isolated. They won't be able to survive in the modern world."

"We take care of the Iroquois tribe so they can survive."

"Genocide is not in my job description! It is not in any of our job descriptions!"

"Hold on, Basil." Said Lee. "This might just work."

"Might just work?" asked Cam. "No! This won't work! Especially since we can't attach right or wrong to either of these people. Iroquois practiced cannibalism once upon a time!"

"As did the Scythians, Chinese, the Irish, the Peruvians, the Mayoruna, the Jagas, the Egyptians, the Australian aborigines, the Maoris, the Greeks, the Pawnees and the Ashanti." Added Basil. "Thankfully the only ones that don't qualify as barbarians are the Scythians, the Irish and the Egyptians… I'm still trying to figure out if the Greeks qualify or not."

"Stay focused, Basil." Muttered Cam before speaking so Lee and Tina could hear him. "If they are as isolated as our Vikings then they are cannibals just as our Vikings practice human sacrifice since the Algonquin did not practice cannibalism."

"Yeah, on one side we've got human sacrifice and on the other we've got cannibalism." Said Basil. "Can either of them be called right or wrong?"


	8. Proposition

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 **Proposition**

"Your point is made on who really qualifies as good." Said Lee. "But the fact still stands that the Iroquois may eventually destroy the Vikings."

"We just can't let them be destroyed." Added Tina.

"And we can't just wipe out the Iroquois tribe." Retorted Cam.

"Otherwise we'd be no different than Hitler." Stated Basil.

"The difference is the goal." Tina replied. "Hitler was trying to destroy the Jews out of prejudice not because the Germans had had been diminished and dispersed by the Jews."

"But the point is that you are still considering genocide." Basil took a deck of cards out of pocket and started to shuffle them. It was something he occasionally did when things were getting uncomfortable. Contemplating genocide of one tribe just to protect another tribe certainly qualified. It was that little thing that caused Lee and Tina to realize what they were actually suggesting.

"Oh my god." Lee sat down on a rock and brought a hand to his face. "We were really just trying to defend genocide weren't we?"

Basil put his cards away and looked to Cam. Cam merely looked back at Basil. Basil motioned with his head towards Lee and Tina, Cam then did the same, Basil made a confused motion and Cam just motioned towards Lee and Tina again.

"Why me?" asked Basil at last.

"You're the one with the cards, you come up with proposition!"

"My proposition is that we just get out of here!"

"That sounds fine, Basil." Said Tina.

"The next time we get like this just punch us." Said Lee. "Punch us right in the face!"

"Sounds good with me." Said Cam.

"I don't think I'd be comfortable with punching a girl."

"Basil, the hammers of justice must be unisex." Stated Tina.


	9. Possibilities

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 **Possibilities**

Back at their camp, the four all sat staring at the Indian Sleipnir. It caused them to wonder what other such peoples existed if there were Indian Vikings.

"Suppose the Welsh Indians are actually a thing." Suggested Basil. "A shame they weren't the enemy of the Indian Vikings. I mean no disrespect to the Iroquois but the Welsh Indians would have made this even more fantastic."

"Welsh Indians?" asked Tina.

"It is believed a Welsh prince named Madoc sailed to the Americas in 1170, over a century after Leif Ericsson." Replied Cam. "I don't know. Indian Vikings is a relatively rare belief but there are quite a few who believe in Welsh Indians. It would have been like the uncommon against the common."

"Do you believe it?" asked Lee.

"I don't know. A Welshman can't find his way out of a paper bag." Said Basil. "But if you put an Irishman any where in the world, blindfold him then turn him around a few times in circles he can always find his way home. I'd say Irish Indians who got here through Saint Brendan's voyage to the Americas is more probable."

"Really, Basil?" asked Cam. "Irish Indians? That is absurd!"

"No more absurd than your belief in Atlantis having been populated by a race that had come about by excessive inbreeding, cross-breeding with ape and selecting culling of offspring." Commented Basil.

Tina brought a hand to her face. "I need to wash my brain."

"What about you, Cam?" asked Lee. "We haven't heard your answer."

"Welsh Indians? Come on, it sounds like a comic book plot." Replied Cam. "My theory on the Atlanteans is more probable!"

"Cam, if you or Basil ever speak of your Atlantean theory I swear to Heaven and back I will punch you in the face!" exclaimed Tina. Cam's theory did border on the disgusting. Of course, Basil had a similar theory about the people of Kumari Kandam but he and Cam had both come up with there respective theories during a game of poker in which both had lost their shoes to each other but could not wear each other's shoes in due part to have different foot sizes. Basil's was bigger.


	10. Back at Headquarters

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 **Back at Headquarters**

"So…" Barrage stared at the agents and Tina. "You have reported that there is a tribe of Indian Vikings living on that big old reserve."

"Yes, sir." Confirmed Lee. Cam and Basil both nodded in agreement.

"Then only those here shall know of them." Stated Barrage. "And will be sworn to secrecy on the subject of the Indian Vikings but we will mention them every now and then to get the rookies wondering." He gave a sly smile. Despite his appearance, Barrage had a wit about him and enjoyed letting the rookies wonder about things that were mentioned. "Now, we move on to the subject of Agent Holgaart."

"Good lord, what has he done now?" asked Basil. "Blown up the Sphinx? Knocked down the Forbidden City? Burned down Notre-Dame?"

"Holger karate chops the Pope once and you never let him forget it." Commented Cam.

"He's done stuff besides that worth mentioning but that one really stands out." Replied Basil.

"Actually he has gone missing." Stated Barrage.

"What else is new?" asked the agents in unison.

"He has gone missing in the New Jersey Pine barrens!" continued Barrage.

"The New Jersey Pine barrens!" exclaimed Basil. "Good lord, the Jersey Devil roams that place!"

"Sandhill cranes also roam the Pine barrens." Added Tina. "Those things can be aggressive."

"Then it is decided!" exclaimed Lee. "We're going to New Jersey!"

 **The End**


End file.
